What do you do when your 3-year-old uses her pacifier to give her comfort, but her dentist says she needs to give it up? Dr. Laura Markham has some advice.
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QUESTION: My 3-year-old uses a pacifier for comfort. Her dentist says she should give it up, and I admit that i would like her to but i don't want to traumatize her. I have seen other kids give it up cold turkey but then start a bad habit like hair twirling. Is there an easy way to do this?
The American Dental Association warns that kids over three who use pacifiers risk problems with their dental arches. At the same time, small humans have an innate need to suck, and in most of the world, 3-year-olds still nurse. So I applaud your feeling that you don't want to traumatize your daughter to wean her off the pacifier.
I do feel that pacifiers can too often get in the way of social interaction and play, so it's better if 3-year-olds don't use a pacifier except for comfort, such as at bedtime.
Many parents use the cold-turkey approach. There are some hard nights, but the child adapts. Of course, that would also be true if the child had a more significant loss. It is hard to know how much it costs them inside.
I think it's much better if the pacifier is abandoned by the child, rather than taken away from her. One idea to hasten this process is to very gradually begin cutting a tiny bit off the nipple. Wait a few days and cut a tiny bit more. This may take a few weeks, but because it breaks the suction, the sucking will be less satisfying and the child will eventually decide to give up the pacifier. She will be comforted during this time just by being able to fondle the pacifier as she falls asleep, and she won't have to feel victimized, angry, or shamed by having her pacifier taken away and being told she is too old for it and shouldn't need it.
Voila! Almost as fast as cold turkey, and without trauma, the child is empowered. And there's less drama and hassle for the parent!
