1. The most important parenting commitment: Be your child's advocate and don’t give up on him.  You don't yell at a flower that isn't thriving, you water it.  Appreciate who your child is and respond to what she needs, not what you think she should need.  Every child deserves at least one person who is 110% on their side.

2. The most important parenting skill: Manage yourself. Intervene before your own feelings get out of hand. Take care of yourself so you aren’t venting on your kids.

3. The most important parenting secret: Set limits on behavior but always Empathize with feelings, including the feelings your child has about the limits you set. Both empathy and limits are essential, neither by itself is successful.

4. Don't take it personally.  Whatever your child does, it will be a lot easier for you to respond productively if you avoid getting hooked. Cultivate a sense of humor.

5. Expect age appropriate behavior. Be reasonable. They're kids. Don’t expect perfection, from your kids or yourself, and keep your priorities straight.  Your child is taking shape before your very eyes -- she's still developing, and she'll grow out of most of her inappropriate behavior.  Her messy room matters much less than how she treats her little brother.

6. Avoid power struggles. No one wins a power struggle. Don't insist on being right. Help them save face.

7. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.  All misbehavior comes from basic needs that aren't met. Meet their needs for sleep, nutrition, chill-out time, cuddling, connection, fun and safety.  Let kids know in advance the behavior you expect. Then hold them accountable.

8. Your child is your best teacher about what he or she needs, from infancy on. Listen more than you talk. Listen with your heart.

9. Embrace change.  What worked yesterday will not work tomorrow, so your parenting strategies need to evolve as your kids do. Each of us seems to get the perfect child to learn whatever we need to know!

10. Discipline, despite all the books written on it, doesn’t really work.  Punishment always worsens your child's behavior.  The deepest reason kids cooperate is that they love you and want to please you. All kids respond to limits with empathy.  Above all, safeguard your relationship with your child.  That's your only leverage.  It's what your child needs most.  And, let's face it, that's what makes parenting worth it!

Dr. Laura Markham is both a mom and a Clinical Psychologist with a Ph.D. from Columbia University. Her relationship-based parenting model has helped thousands of families across the U.S. and Canada find compassionate, common-sense solutions to everything from separation anxiety and sleep problems, to sass talk and cell phones.  Markham is the founding editor of www.YourParentingSolutions.com and www.AhaParenting.com. Her radio show airs at noon Eastern time on Wednesdays at MyExpertSolution.com, where she regularly takes on challenging questions from parents who struggle with ?the toughest, most rewarding job on earth.?